It's good to be back in the world of the living. xD

I'm typing this on my new LAPTOP. HahHAha!

Merry Christmas and all that.

~ Hannah

I can’t believe fall is here already. I love autumn for the change it brings. Plus, college is keeping me busy and happy. Poetry class has been a borderline pain in the ass, but one good thing about it is that I am being forced to read poetry that I wouldn’t normally be drawn to. A few days ago I read "To Autumn" by John Keats for the first time, and lines keep running through my head. It is such a beautiful poem.

October 11th is a couple of things. First, it is my older brother’s birthday. Secondly, it is National Coming Out Day. Now, you can probably guess where I’m going with this. (Not that the tricked out, flashing rainbow avatar gave any hints.) I am a lesbian, and it sure does feel great to write that.

I know some of you already know, and maybe some of you thought that yeah, maybe she’s a lesbian, but she never fessed up. Or maybe it never even crossed your mind at all. To the people that knew, months or even years ago, I wanted to formally thank you all for your support and just being there to talk, or in some cases defending me, which has left me speechless on a few occasions. I’m really shitty at talking about my feelings, and if any of you have seen me give a hug, it's one of those awkward, grimacing, stiff-armed, man-hug deals... so if I never thanked you for just treating me like you’ve always treated me, I am thanking you now.

If you weren’t told it is certainly not because I didn’t trust you, or thought you would react negatively; it was just because I wasn’t feeling brave enough that day. It took a semester of harassment and belittling from a teacher (an old harpy cretin of a woman...) She even handed out a religious chain letter in class that damned all of those that condone “sexual perversion,” and on two occasions used the word ‘dyke’ to refer to a lesbian that she had known.

Unfortunately the teacher is still employed at the college It was the first time I had been so openly discriminated against, and, I’m going to have to learn to live with that too.I wish for so many reasons that I’d come out much sooner. I was within a breath of saying something dozens of times, especially at Silver Bay. And I feel that I could have been more outgoing and confident if I had. This doesn’t just apply to my Surrealist- Clarke worshiping-Pagan-Communist-homies; it’s also directed to all of the 4-Hers and homeschoolers I’ve known over the years, and with whom I undeniably spent the majority of my childhood.

If you’ve read this much, I’m sure you’re wondering “Exactly how long is this bad boy?” but, don’t worry. I think I summed up a lot in a page and a half. So I'll leave you with this thought that came to me a few days ago.. I was typing up an essay, and I looked up at the taskbar (I was using that nice new version of Microsoft Word and up in the left hand corner there is a button labeled ‘Orientation’, and it kind of reminded me that some people think that homosexuality is a choice. As if it's just that easy. Click, drag and drop. Copy, paste, print layout. Publish.

Homo!

Exactly the same person she was yesterday,
Hannah Bewsher

I'm sick and I feel like a piece of crap; however, I have had an amazing couple of days, and this morning I woke up (still feeling sick) but with an overwhelming sense of peace and optimism.
A few days ago, I attempted my very first 'Century Run' or a 'Big Day', which is when you try to see 100+ species of birds in 24 hours. I wasn't expecting to reach the triple digits; I could only put about 5 hours into hard-core birding, so for the time to species ratio, I think I did well. So ending the day with 37 (I'll list them at the bottom) wasn't too bad, but there was ONE species that I was sure I would see. A Great Egret. Yeah, they're common, but we only have them in this area in any kind of numbers during migration, so, now, basically. All three places I was expecting to see one, they were completely absent. I accepted it, and just went back to my normal life the next day, but wouldn't you know it, the very next day what do I see standing in a weedy pond on the side of a city road?
It was beautiful, and just when I had come to terms with it. Haha. birds are like that I guess. This is very similar to the view I got of the bird, though I didn't take the picture:
Great Egret.
So, I guess my point is that we all really have to slow down, really notice things, and realize that sometimes you have to fight for what you want and be aggressive, but sometimes, that just doesn't work and you have to accept things and be patient. Right now, I am absolutely saturated with chemistry terms, general college anxieties, not to mention a 102 fever, but I think we all find something that can teach us things, right? So, that's why I watch birds, and that's why I write, and draw, and play kendo...
Coming to the end of my fever-induced rant,
feel free to comment with any random hobby or activity that helps you to chillax, see things clearly, or has taught you something.
(Haha, I'm gonna read this in a day or two and be like, "Daaaamn.. what was I on?" )

For those of you who are interested: (highlights in caps.)
Canada Goose
Great blue heron
Sharp-shinned hawk
American Kestrel
Red-tailed hawk
Killdeer
ring-billed gull
Pigeon
mourning Dove
belted kingfisher
Downy woodpecker (WO)
Pileated WO
YELLOW-BELLIED SAPSUCKER
Northern flicker
Red-bellied WO
eastern phoebe
great-crested Flycatcher
Blue jay
American crow
Black.C. Chickadee
Tufted titmouse
white-breasted nuthatch
house wren
gray catbird
American robin
E. Starling
house sparrow
chipping sparrow
song sparrow
Northern cardinal
ceder waxwing
SAVANNAH SPARROW
Common Grackle
Eastern Towhee
VEERY
RED-EYED VIREO
Turkey vulture

It is so true. DA completes me. x)

My inner artist is very much alive, but unproductive. My creative energy has been applied to learning... Intro to Organic Chemistry apparently got mixed in with my Gen. Bio course. So I'm doing both... I actually really enjoy Chemistry... Go figure. Hahah.. I am absolutely fascinated by water.... It is amaaaazing.

Also, I have been working on a letter that I will upload to my DA, Facebook, and MySpace on October 11th. So, give me a few more weeks... It's something I've been putting off for a while.

I won the Cornell lab of Ornithology's weekly bird ID quiz!

See! [link]

I get a plushie yellow-bellied sapsucker. xDD LIKE OMG!

Haha.. Is it obvious that my summer has been boring? I think so.